an author's note...

Dear Readers,

Remain calm as I delve into my ravaged mind to bring you a living account of the journalistic assignment I was tasked with in December 2009.

As staff writer for a new US lifestyle magazine, whom shall remain nameless for now as legal ramblings etc continue to dog our relationship, I was offered the chance of a lifetime. Being the only Brit on the payroll, I was duly asked to cover the forthcoming football world cup in South Africa. However, I was to visit with the fans and personalities of all competing nations, meaning a visit to 32 countries in theory, to find the lost enthusiasm and soul of the sport and of life in general.

Things have progressed since December and I will endeavour to pour out my findings on these web pages, after all I think people are sick to the back teeth of 'official' previews to the world cup, all kissing the corporate arses of FIFA and it's cronies.

But if youre not a football fan, don't worry! The majority of the time this is merely a reason why I am in a certain place, events outside of the game have taken control one way or another. In case you were wondering what's in store, have a look at the long list below, of the said events I have encountered thus far...

Shootings, drag queens,gun running, match fixing, tattoos, money laundering, riots, dogging, magic mushrooms, hookers, lesbians, heart attacks, muggings, witch doctors, snakes, helicopter crashes, temazepam, trains, gimp masks, booze, organised chaos, ecstasy, sepp blatter, robbery, gambling, a la carte, massage parlours, five star, one star, saunas, terrorists, threesomes, death threats, hooligans, hostels, stomach ulcers, deportation, pickled brains, diarrohea, tyrants, all inclusive, painkillers, communism, shrapnel wounds, local mafia, strap ons, ketamine, rats, djing, heroin, blackmail, c.i.a.,bleeding gums, torture, bingo, sex shows, planes, buggery, prison cells, banter, uppers, downers, LSD, warlords, fancy dress, paranoia, interrogation, porn stars and more...all on the road to the 2010 football world cup.

More to follow...